"Emotional intelligence refers to the ability to identify and manage one’s own emotions, as well as the emotions of others." - PsychologyToday.Com
A basic part of mental health is emotional intelligence. As described in Psychology Today's quote, emotional intelligence is a term used to describe an individual's awareness of emotions and ability to manage their own emotions. Mental health therapists strive to increase the emotional intelligence of their patients as a building block to achieving overall mental wellness.
Primary and Secondary (and Tertiary) Emotions
There are a variety of theories in psychology regarding human emotion, but the most common theory used in mental health therapy explains emotions as being split into two categories: primary emotions and secondary emotions (sometimes, you will even see a third category of tertiary emotions). This explanation of emotions is similar to a colour wheel of primary, secondary, and tertiary colours - the primary emotions (sadness, anger, fear, happiness) are seen as the main emotions that combine to create all other emotions on the secondary and tertiary levels. [Note: there are many versions of primary, secondary and tertiary emotions, sometimes including other primary emotions such as disgust or surprise]. The purpose of this explanation is to provide a simple way to understand and develop emotional intelligence. It is often depicted in a "wheel of emotions," much like a colour wheel. Below are some examples of wheels of emotions:
"Feelings Wheel" from feelingswheel.com
"Watercolor Emotion Wheel" by Abby Vanmuijen at www.avanmuijen.com/watercolor-emotion-wheel
"Negative" and "Positive" Emotions
It is common to hear people refer to emotions as "negative" or "positive," or even that they feel "positive" or "negative." To approach emotions more realistically, though, it is worth recognizing that all emotions are valid and helpful to us, so long as we use them in healthy ways.
How can an emotion like anger be "healthy," though? Well, anger is about wanting change; so, how can you make change in a healthy way? You can make constructive suggestions, cooperate as a team, or take action independently.
Instead of judging your emotions as "good," "bad," "positive," or "negative," validate your emotions and give yourself agency to choose the healthiest use for them. This aproach allows you to accept your emotions rather than fight them.
Language and Emotions
Most people tend to describe their emotions with language like "I am [afraid, hurt, annoyed, etc.]," however, this is not particularly accurate language. When describing our emotional state, therapists usually suggest to use language instead to recognize the separation between ourselves and our emotions, and to recognize our individual responsibility for our reactions. The main idea here is that you are not your emotions, but you are responsible for yourself - you only experience emotions, emotions do not define you, but you are responsible for your reactions. For example, when someone says, "that is an angry person," such language labels the entire individual as one emotion, which harmfully minimizes and stereotypes them - they may then think, "people say I'm an angry person - that must be who I am and I can't escape it."
Here are some more examples:
Experiencing Emotions
Another key point to emotional awareness is recognizing that we do not experience emotions singularly; that is, we do not feel only one emotion at a time. Rather, we experience all primary emotions at varying degrees of intensity, always. One way to picture this is with a feelings graph, shown below:
"Feelings Graph - Sample" from restorationcounselingok.com
As you can see in the example graph, all emotions are experienced at the same time, just at different levels of intensity. In fact, one activity therapists use to increase client's emotional awareness is using an emotions graph as a daily assignment: every day at the same time, take a moment to graph the intensity of the emotions you are experiencing.
Video About Emotions
Check out this animated educational video about emotions, written by psychologist Anne Hilde Vassbø Hagen:
